I believe in happily-ever-after. All of us should—it does exist but sometimes, well, many times, getting there is a bit harder than what we see on Disney movies or hear in old-school fairy tales.
There are days, weeks, months—even years—when the bad guys might be winning, but if we play our part right, the day will eventually come when you and your family, the good guys, will prevail.
How does a person, then, play their part right?
First, put your expectations in proper perspective. Happily-ever-after, even though this seems counter intuitive at first, necessarily means that people will have trials, frustrations and setbacks! It is worth deep and reflective thinking to understand this point. How would any of us feel happy or experience happily-ever-after if we, first, were not subject to the opposite.
What makes magical triumph sweet is not the moment the victory is won, but the painful journey and impossible obstacles that were overcome to cross the finish line. In short, happiness comes from experiencing sadness. Real victories come from overcoming previous defeats and monumental accomplishments result from brushing off countless failures.
We, of course, are frustrated by setbacks and embarrassed by failures and defeats but any success won by easy means is hollow, unfulfilling and, frankly, not happily-ever-after.
Perspective becomes a critical virtue for each of us, particularly when we are in the heart of the battle. When we are covered in dirt and grime, bone tired, exhausted and stressed out of our minds it is so difficult to step back and recognize that this pain will one day be the platform of our thrilling and meaningful victory.
These perilous times are the very moments when we should step back and breath in the faith that we can win this fight no matter how perilous it might currently feel.
The right perspective can give us hope particularly when it is aimed correctly.
To that end, hopefully, each of us has a Divine Center—a True North as it is often called—where we can regroup and reset our bearing and priorities.
Many of the things which cause us anxiety and fear result from losing our social status, our face, our pride. “What will people think? What will people say?”
The reality, hard as it is to admit, is that many of us have our True North pointed the wrong direction which clouds our perspective.
God and family should be our Center but they are often replaced by the honors of men—our neighbors, classmates and friends. When we worship our social status more than our spiritual status the pains of losing or failing can be immense. Nearly all of us fall victim to this shortcoming in our lives—it is so hard not to compare.
However, when we set our compass right then, almost like magic, our perspective can be re-aligned. The power herein is that the right perspective—aimed with True North—not only gives us peace but it empowers us to overcome obstacles.
That might bear repeating—if you feel like your business or life is floundering, take a minute and re-center your life. We should be asking ourselves questions like, “Am I overly-focused on the wrong goals? Am I thinking too much about me instead of my wife and family? Am I making good choices in my life or do I need to make some course corrections?”
Many times, when our compass is pointed waywardly, we are more apt to fail because, crazy as it sounds, we fear failure so much.
Like any life endeavor it is easier to talk-the-talk then walk-the-walk—finding our center and keeping the right perspective is always work. We can nearly all use course corrections daily. All in all, we would do well to consider that everything we face in life is but a journey.
Happily-ever-after does not have to be at the end of the journey. Happily-ever-after is something we find as a mental and emotional destination when we can step back, find our Divine Center and trust the journey—both the bad and the good.
It all works together. Happily-ever-after is about finally understanding that it really is not greener in our neighbor’s business or life. Family and work, for most of us men, is life. Put it in the right perspective; find your True North; have faith in the Divine; work your heart out and you and your family will win and live happily-ever-after in a very real way.